Ninjas, yawwwwwwn. Sure, they used to enthrall us back when we all thought we could grow up to be master assassins with cool monikers like Black Tiger or White Black Tiger, but now we all know it takes a lot of years just to learn how to stand on still water and who has the patience for that? I just don’t have the time to hang upside down on a ceiling for hours (sometimes even days) until my target comes home just so I can scare him, remind him that I am always watching him, and cause him to have a mental breakdown. No, I have too many shows to catch up on to lead such a humdrum life. Besides, ninjas are just glorified stalkers with a penchant for murder. Stop being disillusioned by their glorified depictions on TV and do something that actually matters…like writing a drawn out introductory paragraph that has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the article.
Anyway, here’s the extended trailer for G.I. Joe: Retaliation that will be shown in 3-D for the premiere of Hansel and Gretel:Witch Hunters.
I’m calling it. This will probably be the best zip lining movie of 2013. And the best sword fight on the side of a cliff movie of 2013. And the best motorcycle that disassembles and launches itself at the enemy movie of 2013. And of course, the best G.I. Joe movie of 2013.
G.I. Joe: Retaliation opens March 29th.
Written by Daniel Lee